Comments on First Paris Then Rome: Why won't my child answer me in English?

Ohh my goodness. I have been having this exact pro...

2009-11-16T10:02:27.695+01:00

Ohh my goodness. I have been having this exact problem. From the day My daughter was born I have spoken only English to her and my wife only German. She understands me perfectly but answers almost all the time in German. Most of her movies are in English and I fight with my wife to make sure the TV is tuned to an English channel. I became concerned that at 3 and a half years old she still is not speaking to me in English. My wife would always say. "Dont get alarmed as long as she understands you perfectly that is o.k". Now I am reading this stories of kids exactly like her who 12 years old still do not transcend and speak the language. !!! ohh my goodness. What should I do ?

Wonderful post, thanks! Jumping in a bit late and ...

2008-12-15T23:30:00.000+01:00

Wonderful post, thanks! Jumping in a bit late and see that the blog has been silent on this subject for a while.

I'm in a very similar situation - American in Italy with a French partner - and have two young daughters (almost 2 yrs and 3.5 months). Italian nido and French between him and me (until recently, as I've switched to english in front of the children), only fracophone grandparents, and only a few anglophone friends.

I'm at the starting point of all these questions and concerns so greatly appreciate here hearing your thought processes! Ironic that I'm concerned about my daughters not speaking english while living in a world dominated by the english-language empire.

I'm the worker in the family and travel a good deal for my work. The almost 2 yr. old is starting to speak, to my slight chargrin, primarily in french. But, I won't throw in the towel just yet. I, too, had the idea of in-english-only cartoons. Feel quite manipulative about this but, such is life.

On a lighter note, there's a great Czech cartoon, Krtek (the mole, la taupe) on youtube that is almost language independent and wonderful. http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=krtek&search_type=&aq=f

this is a very interesting point. My uncle is marr...

2008-04-17T23:35:00.000+02:00

this is a very interesting point. My uncle is married to a woman from Ghana. She says her mothertongue language is English and that their children are bilingual, but I have never heard them speak in English. Sometimes my aunt shuts something in English, for example if she is angry and the first words popping into her minds are in English, but I still have reserves in believing that my cousins can speak English at the level of a mother tongue. I tried to speak to them in English but they laughed at me, and I don't know if they found it funny because I am not a mothertongue in English (I surely have a strong italian accent and might as well make mistakes in the pronunciation) or because they didn't understood the English word I was saying.

It was reassuring to read that you are bilingual if you are dual citizen (i.e. you have a foreign parent)

Ciao! I'd like you post your article -also the old...

2008-03-13T12:16:00.000+01:00

Ciao! I'd like you post your article -also the old ones- in that blog http://united-states-of-europe.blogspot.com/ It can publcize your blog and help european culture. PS: we can also eschange our lnks, if you want

CarolineI think you're right. If a family is doing...

2008-03-07T18:21:00.000+01:00

Caroline

I think you're right. If a family is doing english at home but one parent slips into local language all the time, before you know it the kids would be answering back in the local language too and english would fall by the wayside...

:)

I think the "English at home - local language outs...

2008-03-05T20:20:00.000+01:00

I think the "English at home - local language outside the home" works well when BOTH parents speak to the children in English at home. Otherwise, the One Parent One Language system works better.

We do one parent one language, simply because the Frenchman cannot imagine speaking to the Bambina in anything but his native language and neither can I. So I speak to the Bambina always in English, whereever we happen to be.

This is very informative. My dad is Swedish but I...

2008-03-05T18:59:00.000+01:00

This is very informative. My dad is Swedish but I never learnt Swedish from him. When Swedes meet me (and I also look very Swedish and have a Swedish name) they are stunned to find out that I don't speak Swedish despite my Swedish dad (born and raised on Gotland!) I should forward them this blog entry. Dad made no effort at all to speak Swedish with me as a kid (partly because my parents split when i was 3 so I only saw him on weekends) and always spoke English to me. The only time I heard any Swedish was when we sung a few Swedish children's songs. Why do people expect me to speak Swedish?

Here in Italy, we're lucky that our home language is always English. We plan to send our child to Italian preschools and I'm sure she'll pick up Italian there (and from the TV etc) but it's only English all the time at home.

We need to work on not throwing in Italian words though. We put so many Italian words into our speech that I was having problems recently thinking of the English for carciofo, melanzane, sportello, telefonino and motorino while my sister was here last month! Some things just roll off the tongue in Italian.

Sounds like we might have to give up on teaching the kid Dutch though. I doubt my husband can spend 20+ hours a week speaking Dutch with her and we only know two other Dutch people here.

This IS a great post! My husband and I have always...

2008-03-05T12:06:00.000+01:00

This IS a great post! My husband and I have always said we will speak English at home if we continue to live in Italy, or Italian at home if we live in the states. I knew a lady from a previous job who did this for her child and I've always thought it was a good idea. I'm really glad to read this post, though, for the reassurance.

Sounds like work, but it was work for me to learn Italian, too!!

Great post. I discussed this recently with another...

2008-03-05T11:13:00.000+01:00

Great post. I discussed this recently with another expat (neither of us have children yet), and it's always interesting to read more perspectives. Thanks :)

I find this such an interesting topic! We are stil...

2008-03-04T11:58:00.000+01:00

I find this such an interesting topic! We are still new expats and finding our way, but we do the same as Charlotte and speak english at home and french when we are out - for the most part at least. My daughter is 4 and handles this well. My son is not quite 2 and not speaking a lot at all yet, but has more english words than french at this time. I hope to get his english well - ingrained before he goes off to school next year

:)

Very valid points. We are lucky in that we are bot...

2008-03-04T11:49:00.000+01:00

Very valid points. We are lucky in that we are both English mother tongue, so our rule stands, "English at home, German outside the home." Thus far, our bilingual children stick to the rule.

However what you say about a child hearing a parent speak a language not being enough is absolutely true. We have friends here in Germany, who, despite being Spanish and German-speaking respectively, have chosen English as the language they speak as a couple. She speaks Spanish to the kids, and he speaks German. The children speak fluent Spanish and German but not a word of English, despite having heard their parents speak English to each other since their birth. I guess the kids understand English, but I have never heard them speak it.

You are right in that hours need to be devoted to a language in order for children to speak it willingly.