social doos - just don't.

Here in Rome, we are expected to do a certain amount of entertaining and socializing, meaning we have to invite people for dinner from time to time and we have to do our fair share of attending dinners, cocktail parties, concerts and other evening doos, be it at the French Embassy, the Villa Medici or an actual person's house.

I don't mind having people over for dinner, as at least then I can choose whom to invite and I always make sure that the invitees consist of a good mix of people whose company I enjoy. I don't mind preparing the meal either, especially if the Frenchman chips in for the meat, which he is better at preparing. The only real downer is getting the guests to leave. I get tired far earlier in the evening than most grown-ups (at 10PM, I'm happy to be reading in bed) and these dinner doos usually last longer than my eyes and brain can stand.

The social events that take place somewhere other than our own home are, for me, a drag. A couple of weeks ago, we had to listen to this concert of "contemporary" classical music at the French Embassy. I thought I was going to die of boredom or my ears were going to tear themselves away from my body to get away from that place, the music was so bad (you know the kind of music that I mean - not one major chord in the entire piece). After the torture, I mean concert, there was a cocktail complete with prosecco and finger food. And it is always finger food at the French Embassy in Rome, never real food. The kind that you know some stranger in the kitchen has had to maul with his sweaty hands and dirty fingernails for a good 10 minutes per piece to make it look perfect. It consists mostly of seafood (which I don't eat anyway), a plate of gorgonzola and ricotta (ditto), and tasteless stale white bread with the crusts cut off.

Then there are the art exhibits at the Villa Medici. Not that I don't enjoy some contemporary art but frankly, I have had enough of the exhibit after looking at it for about, er, ten minutes, at which point I am ready for the food, which admittedly is very good, as long as you don't mind having to make conversation with the people who sit next to you at your table.

But the worst are the dinner parties in people's homes because they go on so late and I am trapped. I am not allowed to leave. Our hosts are usually some other French couple living in Rome (why don't the Americans ever invite us??). And we talk about...what DO we talk about? Absolutely nothing relevant to anyone. The French have this thing about remaining on subjects as impersonal as possible. So we talk about the situation in the Middle East, French politics, Italian politics, our jobs and doing business in Italy. But the conversation never goes into our personal lives, which I find a bit of a shame. The closest we get to it is where we are going on vacation next summer. Boring. The food is okay but inevitably there is too much of it and I am full by the time they serve us the main course. And they always choose to serve something that I will refuse to eat (fois gras, anyone?) and then accuse me (in a teasing way, of course) of having too many Anglo-Saxon sensibilities when I hand over the plate without taking anything.

And no matter what, I am always dead tired by about 10:30 PM.

Not looking forward to December!